“What goes in must come out.”

That adage is something I always heard growing up, especially from my parents when I would read R.L. Stine books as a kid.

And they were right.

When I was ten years old, I wrote my first “book,” which was about 80 pages long in a spiral bound notebook.

It was about a girl who, after a basketball game, went to a convenience store and drank a sports drink that was poisoned. In order for her to not be harmed by the poison, she had to give it to other people, poisoning them.

She started by poisoning her younger brother.

Somehow, one of my parents must have found my “book” and out of concern for my younger brother’s life, quietly removed it from our wholesome Christian home.

And I started therapy.

I really didn’t start therapy then, but I’ve always remembered that the things I soak my remaining brain cells in will show in other areas of my life.

A few weeks ago, I shared that I would have an opportunity to thank a former teacher in my life for the influence he had. I didn’t mention this in the earlier post, but he’s one of three people I dedicated Permission to Speak Freely to, as he taught me how to write from my heart.

He’s now a brilliant teacher at a prestigious academy in Pennsylvania, and last Monday, I got to spend some time with him (see, here’s a picture of us), hanging out in his English classes and clearing cobwebs that have been forming in my head since I was a junior in High School.

Most of us have read some of the “classics” in our high school or college days. Melville. Twain. Hemmingway. Homer. Salinger. (Etc., Etc., Etc.)

If you’re anything like I am, I left those books behind with my prom dress.

After spending time in Mr. Bennett’s classes, listening to sixteen year olds discuss the greatest line in American literature (“All right then, I’ll go to hell” – Huck Finn) I began thinking, “These kids understand classic literature more than I do,” and as the visiting “professional” author, felt entirely like a poser.

“Have you read this?”

“Ummm…once in seventh grade.”

“Do you remember the line about…”

“Never read that one.”

“Last year, when you guys read…”

“Crap.”

In the midst of jokes about Hemmingway and my feelings of inadequacy, I made a decision.

If I want to write timeless content, I should probably read timeless content.

Because what goes in must come out.

Before I wrote Mad Church Disease, I had spent my “ministry” years reading “ministry” books and lo and behold, produced a “ministry” book of my very own.

With Permission to Speak Freely, I had ventured more into memoirs, essay collections, poetry, and spiritually contemplative books and I think it’s fair to say the tone of PTSF reflects that.

The goal of any writer is to become a better version of themselves (and not give into the temptation to be the next Anne Lamott, Donald Miller, David Sedaris, or Elizabeth Gilbert).

As writers, we should hone in to cultivate our own voice and make it the best it can be.

That only happens with time.

What can we do with our time to develop ourselves into timeless writers?

We have to nurture our creative spirits, and that looks different for each of us. But within that universal pursuit, find authors who have proven themselves as staples, not trends, that speak to you. Find poets who connect with your soul on a level brief metaphors can speak to. Find music that causes your mind to journey into abstract places. Find places in nature where time stops and the colors, the smells, and the sounds pour into you, because you are a piece of nature yourself.

And write…

Workshops are good (I guess, I’ve never actually been to a writing workshop), and how-to books can be beneficial. I own my fair share of them.

But remember, practicality is rarely a pathway to creating art.

Most art isn’t practical.

If it was, it probably wouldn’t move us in the way that art often does.

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The last few days, I’ve been in the Kansas City area for my best friend’s wedding. The Hubs and I fell in love, got engaged, and were married here. A few months after our wedding in 2003, I started working full time at a church here.

I don’t mention it in Mad Church Disease, but Kansas City was the launching pad for the book. The church I reference when I ran 120 mph, didn’t rest, and ended up in the hospital…all here. The question on the back of the book, “Is working in this church interfering with your communion with Christ?” was asked to me here. I was told my dreams were “too big” here. I got in trouble for unwisely expressing my idealistic ideas here.

But the lesson most learned was how to heal after being hurt.

That’s where Chapter 11- the final chapter of Mad Church Disease – comes into play.

If you haven’t read it, you can download it here if you’d like. It’s title is Processing through Pain.

Driving by my old church, my old Starbucks, my old house…all these things brought back so many memories. Every time I’d go somewhere public, my heart would race a little bit. I was afraid of running into the person who hurt me four years ago.

Four years..it seems like a lifetime ago. But the hurt still hasn’t gone away. And it’s still impacts me, my ministry, and my ability to take risks. I don’t assert myself like I normally did. I stay really quiet and don’t speak my?mind as much as?I should. I choose my battles too carefully.

In the chapter, I quote something Penelope Trunk said to me at SXSW08 when I met her after a session. (I also had spinach in my teeth and she told me about it. Nice, Anne Jackson. Nice.)

“People are afraid to be amazing.”

I wish I had it figured out by now. I’ve forgiven, the bitterness usually stays at bay, but that fear of getting crushed again keeps a part of me silenced. I’m afraid to?be amazing -?to live to my full potential?-?because last time I was there, my dreams were shot through the heart.

What about you? I know with as many people read this blog, there have got to be some walking wounded. We are each responsible for our own healing…I’m not as consistent as I’d like to be, but I try taking risks or speaking my mind even when it’s scary. What are some steps that you’re taking to live again and to trust again?

Recently, there have been some very serious questions asked about Mad Church Disease, and instead of writing an impersonal post, I thought I’d address you guys a little more formally, via video.

Please see below:

(This is what happens when you have some free time and a video camera late at night after the NBA Finals are over. And, just to clarify, no pastors were insulted in the making of this video. Andy Stanley also looks good, and Ed Young knows how to lead. Thankyouverymuch.)

Have I ever told you that I wish I could just give everything away? I really do.

The wonderful people at Zondervan have now made another chapter of Mad Church Disease available FREE online (in case you haven’t downloaded the first free chapter, Chapter 11, you can do that by clicking here).

At the end of this post is Chapter 3 in its fully designed stage (they did an AWESOME job designing this book!)

My favorite paragraph from this chapter says this, because it’s something I’m still learning!

“We should look at our past as a gift and not a burden. And as such, we should steward it like any other gift we?ve been given. We need to be grateful for our unique circumstances, not resentful. Once we accept our God-given past, we can find out what about it makes us extraordinary.”

You can pick up a copy of Mad Church Disease from Amazon, for your Kindle, or any other fine book retailer (in the US, Canada, UK, or AUS). The audio book will be released in a few months and I hope to give as many of those away as possible, too.

I don’t ever want to cross the line into pimping MCD, but I am SO PASSIONATE about the message of health in the church. So many leaders are hurting, burnout out, letting their defenses down and IT HAS TO STOP!!! So forgive me if I have ever crossed that line, but I can’t emphasize how important the message of this book is.

David Kinnaman, author of unChristian and President of The Barna Group reviewed Mad Church Disease on Barna’s website today. Below is an excerpt. If you want to read the full review, click here.

The book is deep, but not stuffy. It is funny, but not cynical. It is easy to read, without being simplistic. Anne?s writing is poignant and personal, without being tacky. It takes a long, hard look at the difficulties of church work, while asking readers to face their problems.

Ultimately, Mad Church Disease is not just about solutions, it is a solution. It is a tool that can be used by a church staff or by individuals. It contains helpful interviews with church leaders who have lived through Mad Church Disease. And it offers worksheets to start private or group discussions about the issues of personal and spiritual health. Use this great new tool to find and restore healthy margins in your life.

Anyway, enjoy!

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Normally I reserve Thursdays for book giveaways but I discovered something today that I wanted to celebrate!

(We’ll still be doing our typical Thursday giveaway too!)

I found out that Mad Church Disease is on its third run of printing and wanted to say THANK YOU!

And as a thank you, I have five copies to giveaway! Actually…ten…one for you, and one for someone you think needs to read it!

Just leave a comment telling me one thing you are doing to stay healthy and you’ll be entered.? Use Tweet This below and be entered twice!

Good luck!

Something I am SO excited about is…

We are taking some of the core values from each chapter of the book Mad Church Disease and putting them on video so churches or staffs or groups of people can use them to help walk through the book and begin a discussion.

Oh, and the thing I’m SUPER DUPER jazzed about is that they will be completely, 100%, no strings attached FREE!

We start working on them next weekend, and before we do, I’d love to get your opinion on what makes (for lack of a better term) a “teaching video” helpful to you?

If you haven’t read MCD yet, you can download a FREE chapter (which happens to be one of my favorite chapters) here.

And I just got a case of books in a few weeks ago, so if you’d like a bulk discount on books (10+ copies) just shoot me an email. We’ll get ya hooked up.

Have a great week!

I have a Genius Marketing Guy at Zondervan. Not only is he a genius. He stops me from saying stupid things publicly when certain retailers (as there are more than one) don’t carry my book in stock (and it has to be special ordered).

It’s a little frustrating being an author and getting continually asked “I went to Popular Christian Bookstore and they don’t have your book in stock.” or “I went to Popular Christian Bookstore’s website and can’t find your book.”

Evidently picking fights with Popular Christian Bookstores isn’t a good idea when you are attempting to be an author they carry.

I see it as just helping them out.? The customer is there.? And you’re missing them.? So they go to Amazon or B&N or Borders or Booksamillion or Davis Kidd (in Nashville) or ChristianBook.com or Parable.com…any other bookstores which have it in stock.

Just trying to help.

ANYWAY.

Genius Marketing Guy came up with a fun giveaway.

And super easy.

Go to Twitter and tell us your favorite quote from Mad Church Disease, or why you think people should read it, and include the hashtag “#mcd” and the link “http://tr.im/gH3N” and you’ll be entered to win a free book.? If you don’t have it yet, you can download the sample chapter and tell us what you enjoy there.

Example: “Satan is ONLY out to destroy us! #mcd http://tr.im/gH3N”

Genius Marketing Guy is giving away 25 copies and there is no limit on how many times you can enter.? The more you enter, the better your chances, and people will be chosen at random TOMORROW at noon EST.

So you have 24 hours.

Roll!

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PS – Mad Church Disease should be available on the Kindle beginning Friday! :)

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If you’d like to buy a book yourself and a book for a stranger (see the post below) you can use this nifty PayPal button. You don’t even need to have PayPal – you can use any major credit or debit card.

We have had several come in already. Thanks for your generosity and for blessing a stranger.

Name for Autograph

So, a month or so ago, I got the addresses for people who donated books to Dominican Pastors. As of this Friday (February 27) your books will be shipped. Sorry for the delay on that. Long story.

Since I will be spending a few hours at my Sylvan Park post office this coming Friday, I thought I’d throw this out there for you guys…

I have a case of books to sell.

At the same time, I know there are some instances where I need to give a book away to someone who can’t afford it.

So here’s the deal.

I’d like to sell you a copy of Mad Church Disease. It would be personalized & autographed. The catch is, instead of the $15 you’d pay on Amazon (after shipping), I’m going to charge you $25. What a huge bargain, right?! Ha. I know. It seems like a rip off.

Here’s the catch.

You paying $25 (which includes shipping) will afford me the opportunity to keep some free books on hand and give them away to legitimate people who need them. Basically your $25 buys two books. One for you. One for a stranger.

If you’re interested, you can send me $25 via PayPal (flowerdust at gmail dot com) and in the notes, put who you’d like the book’s autograph to be made out to. I will ship all these books out by Friday, February 27, so it’s a limited time offer.

Also, if you have any questions, or need to pay using cash or a check, leave me a comment.

Thanks for being such great evangelists for this message of health!

IN STOCK.

It’s on its way.

I am so eating a cupcake today.