“i can’t stand perry noble!”

i said that a lot to my husband a few years ago.

so, why the empathic disgust?? well, it’s obvious, don’t you think?? perry was bold and brash.? he had and shared his super strong opinions on church growth, how to do ministry, and a plethora of other terrible topics.? he was one of those pastors.? the ones that only cared about relevance and numbers.

a spiritual leader? pssshhhaw. what-ev-er.

and of course, the world needed to be warned.? back in my xanga blogging days, i actually encouraged people to send perry emails about a katrina relief campaign he was doing, saying how he was using a tragedy to get people into church (of all things!) i got into blog comment fights about him.? and once, i even had to ask tony morgan to remove one of the comments i left because after sleeping on it, i realized how flat out mean it was.

seriously.? perry and his blog made me so angry, i actually unsubscribed from it for a year or so.

and then my world got flipped upside down on me a few times.? i came crashing down in a pile of pride and self-righteousness and oh wow, was it ugly, and messy, and shameful.

and over the last year or so, i’ve had such clarity in how stupid i was.? how i was projecting my own lack of confidence and faith and pride and issues on perry.? i don’t know why he became the target, but he was.? i sent an email apologizing.? and perry was gracious enough not only to forgive me, but to selflessly contribute a “second opinion” section to mad church disease.

last night, i was talking to my husband chris at cracker barrel (which is what honestly sparked this whole post.? if you know anything about perry, you know his affinity for their biscuits).? and i saw the whole journey, from five years ago until now.? and how perry hasn’t changed much, but my perspective of him has.? and how that has little to do with him and more to do with the fact i stopped am trying to stop being a self-righteous jerk ball.

and i also think how i still read church blogs where someone thinks someone else’s church or ministry is awful, or how they’re doing things wrong, or for the wrong reason. or how they’re spending money inappropriately, or how “trendy” they are, or…whatever.

GET OVER IT.

that’s it. GET OVER IT.

it’s not worth it.? and if you’ve ever had the mirror turned back on you, you know exactly what i mean.

phillipians 1:18 has been a key verse in this journey of mine:

“So how am I to respond? I’ve decided that I really don’t care about their motives, whether mixed, bad, or indifferent. Every time one of them opens his mouth, Christ is proclaimed, so I just cheer them on!”

it’s easy to forget in general, but ESPECIALLY on blogs, there are so many people who aren’t believers looking in.? what kind of example are we setting?? that we’re a bunch of cry babies who can’t get along? a lot of the time…YES. that is exactly what we’re saying.

suck up the pride, bite your tongue, and listen to your momma.

if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.

people will know us by the love we have for each other.

remember that.

how true. watch until the very end.

happy thanksgiving.

[ht: message in hand]

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**if you haven’t yet, donate $5 to buy 2 pairs of shoes for the needy and be entered to win a chance for two round trip southwest airlines tickets! just visit 50000shoes.com

just wanted to let y’all know about a few behind the scenes things have been going on over the last several weeks! it’s only a couple of months until mad church disease releases (woohoo!) and so far, the endorsements and reviews coming in have been exactly what i hoped for – that this book will spark thinking and discussions about our health as we help others.

since it would be a wise choice, i decided to develop an author site to be the hub for all things anne jackson. it does not have a separate blog, but links here instead. anyway, many props to brad ruggles for his amazing design work on the site AnneJacksonWroteThis.com. go check ‘er out!

we have also spiced up the MadChurchDisease.com site with a new look…wanted to keep it really simple and hopefully engage people in the interactive forum (which is obviously not complete yet) but i am really looking forward to the discussion that is stirred up in that arena. we point people to it in the book and i really hope it can be a place for people to share their stories, offer encouragement and pray for each other because we are NOT in this alone!

other fun mad church things would be some places i am speaking early next year, a soon-to-be-announced contest/partnership with relevant magazine and neue, that our friends in both the UK and australia can order the book online, and that it will also be available via audio book, ebook, and symtio.? oh, and if you’re signed up for the catalyst filter, you’ll be getting a copy of it inside the aqua box!

you can still get the book for $11.55 (that’s for a hardcover!) on amazon right now.

thanks for all the MCD love and support over the last year and a half. can you believe that?!? PHEW!!!

goodness. i need a nap. :)

i said i had some exciting news to announce today. here it is!

first of all, anyone who donates a pair of shoes on 50000shoes.com from today until midnight (CST) on december 6 will be entered into a chance to win 2 round trip tickets for wherever southwest airlines flies!

you don’t need to leave a comment (although it would be nice to know!) because we will be tracking the entries from the 50000shoes.com site. the more shoes you buy, the greater your chances are of winning the tickets!

also, we have a special challenge during this time frame too.

if we can have 1000 shoes donated between now and december 6, we have a very special corporate sponsor who is willing to match 500 of those shoes. so, for every 2 pairs donated, this sponsor will donate 1 pair. how incredible is that?

we are currently at 6314.? we need to be at 7314 by december 6.

we have some other fun giveaways coming up, but don’t let this one pass you by. now is a great time to re-invite your blog readers, email address book people, facebook friends, and everyone you know to participate. don’t forget to tell them about winning the SWA tickets and the fact that we basically have 500 “free” shoes will be donated if we reach our goal of 1000 shoes by december 6th!

donate now…donate often! and please, for the love of thanksgiving turkey, spread the word!

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ABOUT THE SPONSOR

Lipo in a Box is ah-maz-ing body shapewear. Guys, you may not have a clue about this stuff, but ladies, you know where I’m going with this. We all love our Spanx. I confess, I do too. But Lipo in a Box is BETTER than Spanx. It lasts much longer and fits more comfortably.

Don’t take my word for it. Connie Elder, the brains behind Lipo in a Box, has had her products featured on Oprah, QVC, MORE Magazine, The Today Show, The View and in author Charla Krupp’s NY Times best selling book, “How Not to Look Old.”

Lipo in a Box is super excited to partner with Soles4Souls and the 50,000 Shoes campaign.? They can’t wait to chip in 500 shoes…you guys just have to show them what you’re made of and get 1000 pairs donated by December 6!? You can save money by not buying a new holiday dress – instead, getting Lipo in a Box to help you fit into that dress from last year, and put the savings to some shoes for those in need!

(interested in your company or church doing a match sponsorship? email me!)

i love that so many people have been challenged to not only give, but creatively contribute to the 50000shoes.com campaign.? we’re still need over 43,000 shoes, but i have a feeling we’ll get them.?? i have some really cool news to announce tomorrow about how some people have decided to partner with the campaign, as well as some really cool give-a-ways you’ll be entered in when you give.

anyway, i just wanted to give a little love to some videos and ideas people have put together.? there are probably more out there, so i’m sorry if i haven’t found yours yet.? if you have done something cool, please leave a comment!

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my friend and coworker jenni talks about how many shoes she owns. she decided that she’s not only donating 20% of her shoes to soles4souls, she’ll also purchase a pair for every pair she owns. so she’ll be buying 51 pairs! jenni, like me, works in a church…so she’s sacrificing eating out and not buying any new shoes during the holiday season. hello? that’s hard core!

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bryan, who writes the blog prayers for blowouts, made this cool video and threw his kids out in the cold…

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fellow nashvillian amigo newton dominey owns a rock climbing gym called the crag. see what their big goal for the challenge is in this video. they ended up raising enough for 108 pairs on the night this video was shot!

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crystal’s been a friend of mine for years. last week, she asked people to give shoes in honor of her birthday. people obliged!

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so, enjoy these creative ways to spread the word about the 50,000 pairs challenge. make your own! let us know how you’re spreading the word. and again, tomorrow, i’ll have some very cool announcements to make!

and if you haven’t, go ahead and donate some shoes! heck, even if you have, drop another $5!

next week, i am heading down to visit some of my friends at healing place church in baton rouge.? on my itinerary is “midnight outreach” – a late night trip to some of louisiana’s finest strip clubs.

i have to admit, i’m a little nervous about it.? growing up the daughter of a small town, southern baptist preacherman, i never envisioned one day i’d be hanging out in strip clubs for jesus.

but for every ounce of nervousness, there’s about a gallon of excitement.? i can’t wait to meet these girls and let them know how beautiful they are and how loved they are.? chances are, they haven’t ever really heard that in a meaningful way before.? and yet they are so beautiful.? they are so loved.

i’ve never been to new york, but i’ve been wanting to go for the last seven years.? chris and i were planning on going there for one of our anniversaries, but it didn’t pan out.? sure, i can make it to the UK, to europe, and to remote parts of uganda, but i can’t manage to make it to new york.? one day…

where is a place you’ve never been but have always wanted to go?

it was interesting some of the emails i received about monday’s post on depression.? it made me realize a lot of people have some misunderstandings about what depression is and why some people battle it.

now, let me preface this by saying i am not a doctor or a psychologist (although i’ve been to more than my fair share of both) :-)? however, here are some common myths about depression i thought we’d remove so that everyone can have a better understanding.

why are you depressed?? i thought you loved your new job and it seems like stuff is going well for you.

you’re right.? i love my new job and things are going great.? for the first time, we’re not financially stressed out in our marriage, the relationships i have are incredible and i have never felt more at home than i do in nashville.? all of my external circumstances are awesome!? too bad depression isn’t caused by any of them.? sure, environments can influence ups and downs, but a lingering bit of sadness or feelings of low self worth means it’s probably something more.

to further prove this point, last year at this time i was going through probably one of the toughest times in my life.? i had an awful, no good, very bad situation i was walking through over the course of late fall and early winter.? on top of that, i was also weaning off of anxiety medication (stressful!), writing a book (stressful!), and getting ready to move from dallas to oklahoma city (stressful!)

but you know what? i had absolutely no symptoms of depression at all.? nada.

don’t worry.? if you trust god more, he’ll bring you through.

thanks for the kind and faithful words. and i don’t doubt that.? but depression generally has little to do with someone’s relationship with god.?? if that were the case, every person without faith would be miserable and every person with faith would be happy all the time.?? can i afford to spend more time with god? absolutely. depression isn’t caused by a bad relationship with god or healed by a good one.? if anything, i have to lean even more into that relationship (and the relationships with my husband and friends) to get the strength i need during the seasons of depression.

so, you wrote this book on burnout and you talk about being emotionally healthy.? your past struggles with this and your current struggle doesn’t really give the best example.? what gives you the right to write about this?

i won’t lie. that email hurt (and that is just a small snippet of it).? and the thoughts of my own human inadequacies haunt me all the time when i ask myself, “really, what authority do i have to speak into this topic? i’m struggling right there!” fortunately, i got another email after this one that said this.

Listen, your struggle doesn’t mean you are broken as a person, and it doesn’t make you less spiritual. ?The devil is going to lie to you and say you have no business writing about Mad Church Disease with this going on. ?Don’t give in to that lie! ?Your experience and even your struggles uniquely qualify you to speak authoritatively on this subject. ?God uses our weaknesses to demonstrate His strength in us. ?I believe our precious Lord wants to take what the enemy meant to destroy you and use it to bring glory to Jesus.

that answer was for both the person who wrote the first email, and the demons that walk around in my brain.? but i know that question is something probably a lot of us wrestle with: what qualifies us to do the work we do when we screw up all the time?

grace.

so there you have it.? depression has little to do with your environment, relationship with god, and capacity to be used in this world.? it has much to do with our bodies’ brokenness, chemical imbalances, and the hand we’re dealt.? we honestly have very little control over it.

what we do have control over is how we manage it if we have it, or how we treat others who are struggling.

both require a little patience, a little wisdom, and a lot of love.

why is it we think that jesus always spoke in metaphors?? sure, he used parables and stories to communicate frequently, but recently i’ve been telling myself, “maybe he really meant that.”

i’m at a point in my personal faith where i have more questions than answers.? where i know the scriptures are divinely composed, yet i question the way i’ve been taught to interpret them over the last twenty years.? in sunday school, they seldom teach you about historical cultural context or literary patterns of the hebrew language.? scripture is timeless, but for the most part, we have taken the words and filtered them through a 21st century, westernized lens.

lots. of. questions.

atop of my questions are positioned relationships i have with those who don’t believe in god the way most of us do, if they believe at all.? most of these insights have challenged me to think about the words of jesus…his obvious call…and what should be our obvious answer.

my friend kary oberbrunner has a book coming out in the next couple weeks or so called the fine line.? since he is also a zondervan author, i begged and pleaded to get a copy early.? they gave in.? and it rocks.

here’s a nifty video about the book, and a sample chapter from the book.

one of my favorite parts of the book (granted, he uses proper capitalization) says,

“i’m not afraid to admit it: the sermon on the mount contains some startling commands.? like matthew 5:40: ‘if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.’ or matthew 5:42: ‘give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.’ or matthew 5:48: ‘be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly father is perfect.’

no wonder we look for ways to get ourselves off the hook of following these difficult sayings.? we toss out rationalizations.? ‘maybe they’re metaphors.’ ‘maybe they’re about some future time.’ ‘maybe they’re just suggestions.’

i think it’s christians who live like they’re ‘off the hook’ who cause people like mahatma gandhi to become critical of our religion.? he saw a disconnection between the way jesus lived and the way christians live.? because of this gandhi said, ‘if it weren’t for christians, i’d be a christian.’ gandhi didn’t disagree with jesus’ teachings.? he went on record to say, ‘i like your christ, but i don’t like your christians.’ and those of us who know gandhi’s story understand the sobering reality that he embodied the ethics described by jesus on the mount better than most christians.”

it is here where i wrestle.? why do people who understand, yet officially don’t associate with christianity live more transformed lives than we do?? why do those of us who say we believe fail to live like we are transformed by what we believe?