I was brainstorming on the phone yesterday with someone about what it would look like to “blog” the Catalyst Conference.

Note: This does not mean only sitting in a chair making bullet point lists of what the speakers are saying.

Note: This does not mean only talking with the speakers back stage.

I NEED YOUR HELP! Think WAY outside of the box. What do you see happening as a blogging-behind-the-scenes-meeting-people AND incorporating this into the actual Catalyst event? Bringing Catalyst to the people who aren’t there…and bringing what isn’t at Catalyst to the people there.

No dumb ideas. Forget about money and logistics for now. Just throw out some crazy ideas!!

Lunesta has become a close companion lately. I go through seasons of insomnia…usually about 3-4 months long, followed by 3-4 months of healthy, non-medically-induced sleep. Currently, I’m about halfway into one of those insomnia cycles.

I decided last night to see if, by chance, I’d be able to fall and stay asleep without the drugs. No such luck. I drifted off into a weird, lucid dream.

In my dream, I was given a choice to do something and the consequences would require me to leave ministry. I’d be disqualified completely. And I remember the battle I was waging in my head.

“If I make this decision, I’ll lose my job.”

“If I make this decision, I’ll never be able to speak into the lives of leaders again.”

After I woke up following a very restless night of tossing and turning, I started thinking through what my dream-self was considering and realized something disturbing.

Not one of those thoughts I had was “If I make this decision, I’ll be disobeying God.”

Now, I realize this was just a dream and the decision I was considering in it was something that would likely never cross my path…and I realize a dream doesn’t represent my full consciousness.

But if it was a real life situation, would I have asked myself the same questions, while neglecting the most important one…How does this affect my relationship with Christ?

It’s easy for me to coast through life and walk a straight line. It’s actually pretty easy for me to be the good girl. But following rules isn’t the most important thing…that should just be an overflow of a lifestyle of obedience.

Why do you make the decisions you make? Are they out of love and obedience, or out of fear for losing your position, your marriage, your ministry?

Just something to chew on.

Another company takes online initiative.

My tweet after picking up some amazing produce at Whole Foods on Sunday:

And their reply:

Stuff like this gets me really excited for some reason! And not just because the gift card. I really love good customer service!

i thought i’d share a few little blurbs with you from my article for the catalyst groupzine.? as soon as i know when you can order them, and when they’ll be available, i’ll let you know.

my article is called “the lonely leader and the power of truth” and here are a couple of thoughts from it:

Fear and loneliness are two inseparable lovers with a tragic common denominator: they seek to destroy the Kingdom within.

and

Sadly, we?ve often become so structured there?s no time to experience real life together.? We?re obligated to schedules and appearances but not to each other.? The business of community satisfies our addiction to productivity, but does nothing to nourish the anemia that is afflicting us.

as a leader…do you struggle with loneliness?? do you find that fear isolates you?

with moving, getting settled in, starting my new job and then spending a week in the dominican, i’ve been really behind on reading some blogs. i just caught up with brad lomenick’s blog last night and he asked a great question earlier this month which i thought i’d ask y’all.

if you could have dinner with anyone (besides jesus)…who would you have it with, and where would you have it?

mine would be anne lamott at a waffle house.

you?