anne has just rolled out of bed, has thrown on some clothes and stares in the mirror. her curly hair yesterday is now resembling something like a 1970′s afro. two bobby pins later, anne turns to chris:
anne: do you think my hair looks really big?
chris: (pauses) not really big…
anne: too big to go out?
chris: (pauses) …. (pauses) …. (pauses) ….
anne: is it too big to go out?
chris: (pauses) …. no …. (pauses) …. well, you might want to …. wet it down a little bit or something.
lesson: husbands, lie to your wives. it will give them confidence.
Haha. This reminded me of conversations that my husband and I have, too. I totally agree!
I made Chad read this.
Great advise.
Hmmm, I don’t know. This smells a little like that one story where the Emperor was lied to about his wardrobe….and so in confidence he ran around naked. You sure you want THAT kind of confidence?
I wouldn’t mind that kind of confidence. The rest of the world probably would.
I agree with Derrick. When I ask my husband about my looks he better give me an honest answer ’cause if I get out in the world and realize I look bad…Katy bar the door…He is in trouble!
Haha this is hysterical. Years ago when I was still with my sons father I had asked him if I was getting too fat. I had just had my son and was not happy with not shedding the pounds I needed to quickly enough. Hoping he would just tell me how beautiful I was and shower me with compliments I was OBVIOUSLY fishing for he says…..
Not not at all…(pause) um..(pause)…well,..just dont gain any more.
WHAT!!!???!!!
Uggggg. Men!
Oh and P.S.
He slept on the couch that night =)
And the next…and so on.
They speak a different language – I think we are supposed to receive a universal translator at some point in our lives! (I haven’t gotten mine yet). My DH does know that the “does my butt look fat in this” question is always rhetorical and never to be responded to in gesture or word.
Funny! Just wait till you have been married for a few more years then you will want the honesty more than the confidence.
Miss you both.
You know, we love our wives so much for their inner beauty we uhmmmmm…. can see past the awfully poofy hair to the beauty of the soul just like Jesus does and we tell you you look wunnerful. And that’s good, right?
It’s just like a man to say, “wet it down” (as if water will fix it all!). That was really funny.
Like, what really could water possibly do to a potential-too-big hair? It would just make mine frizz up.
haha.
i’m thinking we need a picture so we can decide for ourselves and then let you know…or chris could just learn the appropriate response?!
Lesson to Chris: The next time Anne asks a question like this, or a relates one like “does this make me look fat?” realize that there is no way out. With confidence, fall down on the ground, grab your chest, and fake a heart attack.
i’ll never fully understand the female species…
Chris, welcome to the team. We are going to add some rapid reward points to your MAN CARD for this one friend.
agreed
HILARIOUS!!! Brian is always like…why don’t you go ahead and get in the shower….what? why? maybe I WANT to go in public looking this way…..is that NOT okay?
bryonm – thanks for the advice. I may have to use that one.
Jeremy – thanks for the man card points…i think
see, as a guy, my mind automatically wants to give the logical answer, before i realize that may not be the best answer…what can i say, i’m learning.
plus, at the moment, i have shaggy, unkempt hair, and haven’t shaved for several days. I’m not sure that i’m the best choice for hair advice…
well said, chris!
i am learning, too, since i am only 16 mos. into marriage. :)
i have a gracious wife!
When presented with a question like that (now 11 years into marriage), I either a)pretend like I didn’t hear the question and go into the other room, or b)pretend like I don’t speak or understand English.
Both of these options work brilliantly, at least in my man-mind.
Ummm, I think I’d rather have the truth! I’d hate to go out with hair way too big for public consumption…and well it’s usually easy to tell when men are lying and just telling you what you want to hear anyway, so yeah I’d rather have the truth!
Chris has apparently not learned the male art of answering a question with a question. The response could have been, “Do you think your hair is too big?” It really is an art form that most guys learn to master quickly out of necessity.
I will never understand this. Why ask a question and not want the answer?
haha. same conversation i had with my business partner today. i’m in 90% humidity here in chennai so i decided to wear my hair curly. well, then we took a rickshaw to our appointments … so afro city emerged. we were on our way to the spa to get a pedicure and he said, “are you sure you don’t want to get your hair washed or something instead?”
awesome.
bro…you are straight up dumb!!
lie, my friend…just lie!!
she may look like nasty butt…but just lie!!
hey – you two had better watch out…chris or anne’s next book will be “he said, she said” or in some form a self-help book on “couples in communication.” (found in the marriage section of the bookstore). a-ha.. funny post!
That’s awesome, sounds like something I would say. Something I have tried lately is, “Whatever you think Amber.” Unless it is really bad then I will let her know because I don’t what her to be embarrassed and then get mad at me later.