“I guess God’s dream for my life is what I’m actually living now (I’m a sovereign God guy). Part of my problem is I have trouble seeing the grand calling in the simple and mundane. If I could than I would be living my ultimate dream.

If my dreams are about the huge thriving church I want to lead, or the incredible blockbuster movie I want to direct, or the fabulous vacation home I want to buy, or even a beautiful passionate perfect spouse… I suppose all of my dreams have been dismissed and for good reason. But if my dreams are whatever God brings me: being the best husband possible to my wife, being the best father possible to my boys, or being the best brother, or son, or cousin, or friend, or neighbor… the simple (and often taken for granted) roles could be the most amazing dream God has for our lives.

I’m thinking that my own struggles and let downs are
about my ego not being made much of – and less about God being made much of in my ordinary life.”

However, this question of having 30 days to live, is important because it brings our most vibrant human passions to the forefront. I think it’s important for us to ask and answer honestly.

I honestly would give my life in the worst possible mission field out there. Why? Because, why not. I’m sentenced to death in 30 days anyway. Why am I not doing that now? Because I have a God-given responsibility to be a husband and a father and a minister to where I’m at right now. 30 days is far different than 30 years. The risks and consequences of my life are drastically changed.

If I would answer this question like you, and say I would do nothing different if I had 30 days to live, then that is what I care about most – living my own life. If I answered by saying all the great trips and activities I would take, then that’s what I care about most – travel and leisure and excitiment. If I say I would risk my life in spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ (although super cliche), that would be what I care about most.

Then you could ask, “What about your wife and kids and family and friends? Don’t you care about them most?”

And I would answer, “In 30 days I will be gone. 30 days is not 30 years. They would know I love them most because of the time and care I’ve already invested there, and for the sake of others they would lay down my life for the nations. The legacy I would leave my wife and kids and family and friends – is the passion to lay down one’s life for friends and enemies for the sake of Jesus Christ. We could do this in ordinary ways (wife and kids and family and friends), and in extraordinary ways (bringing the gospel to dangerous nations). To my family, 30 days doesn’t mean as much as 30 years. To those starving for the gospel, 30 days means eternity. So if I were to die in 30 days, I would say that good long goodbye to those I love, and send myself headlong into the most life-threatening mission field on earth. It is cliche, but for me it is the uttermost truth.”

End note: Because I am not dying in 30 days (to my knowledge) – I will continue serving God right where I’m at as a husband, father, friend, and minister. To go die on the mission field would be irresponsible and against God’s will at this point.

So whether I do this or that, there is great joy. Like you stated so beautifully, joy is found most amazingly in what we suffer.

Someday I hope I’ll take the chance to live like I am dying!

(ok – there has to be country music fans out there)

Great question. I’d like to say “nothing different” because that would mean Im living the exact life God wants me to. I’m not so sure thats the case though