You probably don’t know this man. His name is Clark Adams. Who is Clark Adams? Allow me to quote a blog I found which described him quite well.
Clark was a long-time board member of the Internet Infidels (and for many years its public relations director) and a frequent speaker and attendee at atheist, freethought, humanist, and skeptical events. He was a jovial, funny man whose talks about atheism in popular culture were always crowd-pleasers. He was not particular about what label to put on his nonbelief, and was supportive of all groups that promoted rationality and critical thinking, including the “brights”–though he did not care for what he called “religion without the god stuff.”
I found out yesterday afternoon via my feed to FriendlyAthiest.com that Clark had committed suicide.
Something mentioned amongst the condolences on the post caught my attention, and saddened me. Someone named Holly wrote (emphasis mine):
I noticed some posts about clinical depression on that board and realize that clinical depression can and sometimes does lead to suicide, but what people seem to be overlooking is how prejudice against non believers can cause distress to people who do not believe in God. I don?t think many people realize how distressing this can be. Non-believers are a stigmatized group and I remember Clark mentioned experiencing this stigma personally. Thus, I think it?s important to look at broader societal attitudes and behaviors toward non-believers rather than just trying to get inside of Clark?s head and diagnose him with a psychological illness. Even if Clark experienced clinical depression, I?d be shocked if the prejudice toward non believers didn?t play a major role in his depression.
I have to admit. Holed up here in my little office perched on the third floor of one of America’s biggest churches, this isn’t something that crosses my mind very often. It’s easy to think that as the church, we are making such a difference in the world and no doubt, we are, and almost daily I hear of or read about something positive that churches are doing in the lives of people or in their communities.
But let’s not play dumb here. Holly has a very valid point. Aside from the extreme “turn or burn” preachers in our day, we “modern, contemporary” Christians probably do an equal part of stigmatizing those of different (or no) faiths. The “unchurched”…the “lost souls we must save!!”…I have far too often encountered the almost immediate and disapproving looks and attitude that so many of us habitually carry around when discussing someone who is a “wayward child” or “bless his heart, he’s just so lost.”
I am ashamed that I have not made it a bigger priority in my own life to be more sensitive and less prideful in my faith. And as the title of this post says, I pray for mercy and forgiveness because we know not what we do.
The only thing is…we should.
We should know. And we should love.
God love ya. Amen.
we need to learn to love—and when Jesus says love He means—love WITHOUT AN AGENDA. loving someone to convert them or conform them is not love….it control. Jesus loved everyone–and he didnt run around trying to get them to believe in Himself or His way of life.
He loved without agenda.
Let us learn to follow our King.
Thank you so much for sharing Clark and his story with us. I’m so glad you touched on this issue and posted Holly’s comments.
While I was in seminary, I was working at Nordstrom, and a friend taught me an important lesson that revealed my own prejudice. He was not a Christian, and I made the mistake of using the common term “non-believer” once when speaking with him. He was extremely offended that I would call him a “non-believer.” Since then, I began to use the term “non-Christian” or seeker” to refer to those who do not have a relationship with Christ.
I agree with Holly that sometimes we get isolated in our Christian bubble and fail to draw others to God with the compelling compassion and the true, powerful Gospel that Christ taught 2000 years ago.
If we could only remember to be like Christ, what an impact we could have. For He came not for those who are well, but for those who are sick. And He came to seek and to save those who are lost.
In Scripture, those who are not Christians were compared to the following treasures.
-a lost coin
-a lost sheep
-a lost son
If one of them was lost, the “loser” would stop everything and search until the treasure was found. Did Christians make Clark feel treasured? I doubt it. And I’m sorry.
For more thoughts on God, relationships, writing, and life, please see my blog at http://www.marriageleap.com.
Blessings-
Marla Alupoaicei
Wasn’t it DC Talk who once said the greatest cause of atheism is Christians themselves? We (in general) talk a good talk, but when it comes down to brass tacks and loving those whom Jesus loves….
PS It could have not been DC Talk. I really wanted to say Carmen for some reason, but boy howdy would I have been dating myself. ; )
An experiment I like to try on occasion, is pretending to be a ‘nonbeliever’ when I am visiting another church or when I’m in the company of known believers who are strangers to me. I have had a handful of experiences where I have been treated as a fellow human being, rather than as a sales target. It is distressing to go into a church or a religious environment, and feel all eyes turn to you, the outsider, the heathen, the defective person, and know that you’re about to be *dun dun* Evangelized. It feels dehumanizing, in some regard… it’s like you’re not anybody until you give in and convert. It is as if you are the defective one, and these ‘believers’ are perfect. In many churches I have visited, the experience has been more stressful than going to buy a used car. The folks trying to sell you Jesus are often so over-zealous it feels quite aggressive and is frankly very off-putting. This experiment has also been my litmus test… and the one recent experience in which I was warmly accepted without sensing an ulterior motive, is where I am currently attending church.
Thanks Anne for posting this. At first I got a little defensive from Holly’s comment. Felt like she blamed Christians for Mr. Adams death. Then I saw what I felt was a completely inappropriate comment by a christian when he had the opportunity to show kindness. Crap. I hate when that happens.
I don’t know what world you are from, but I know not of a place where Christians are in majority and domination.
I find it extremely hard to believe that non-christians are suffering from persecution.
Kean,
Welcome to America. Google Fred Phelps. Kirk Cameron. TBN. Find some good Pat Robertson shows online. You will see what I mean, and that are just public figures…
From my perspective, it’s time that those of us that are labled Christians, Christ followers, hypocrites, conservatives, or what ever, stop labeling those that are non-believers, seekers, lost, athiests, “the others”, or whatever.
I’m going to get to know them, and label them “friends” and let God work it from there.
This is probably just semantics, but I tend to think of persecution in harsher terms (people being jailed, beaten, killed for their beliefs) than I think we ever really see here in the States.
That said… back to the post, and the topic at hand…
Doug nailed it (above).
I am not interested in “converting” my neighbors.
I just want to show them the love of Christ in tangible ways… help them shovel their driveways in winter, cut the grass for the single mom who lives next door, invite them over when we’re BBQing out back… etc.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself…
I am profoundly hearing impaired. I was Google researching a site that I was told would provide closed captioning for YouTube (Project ReadOn). As I did so, I clicked on a blog site of a deaf witch. I was intrugued and read a few posts. I was heart-broken at her accounting of how she was treated at church deaf community outreach event. It smacks of the kind of actions you are referencing in this post. If you or your readers are interested in reading the post, click here:
http://deafpagan.com/2006/12/18/on-healing-the-deaf/
I am so glad that I read it. From trying to force a salvation and force a deafness-healing . . . all in the name of church helpfulness. It made me ill. So many people that I know and love are whole, especially as disabled persons. What a way to attempt to “attract” a nonbeliever!
I like your blog. It’s nice to see the blogs of other believers who happen to design. :-)
I agree with your post. I would add from personal experience, that people really respond well to acceptance (like many have already said). But it is when we are being ourselves, even when it may cause disagreements , that raises the relationship from mere tolerance to respect. And respect leads to belief.
If a person’s desire for Christ is dependent on us being good enough, loving enough, and understanding enough, we are preaching the wrong message. It is because I am unworthy, that the hope of Christ offers is appealing and within reach to anyone. And I hope that is the message I project as I encounter different people.
Not perfect, but honest. Inconsistent lover, but loyal.
Well…
Usually I agree wholeheartedly with you, Anne. Something minor bothers me on this one, so let’s see if I can get my thoughts out right…
Some people – Christians, too – interpret pretty much any disagreement as persecution, if these people identify themselves closely with their (wrong) opinion. Those sensitive people are quick to cry “hate speech” or “hate crime” or “emotional abuse”, when all that’s happened is that someone has not jumped to agree.
Now, there’s probably some good reason in this hypothetical person’s past that explains why they are sensitive enough to interpret passive disagreement as an attack. But, that doesn’t mean everyone should be asking this person’s forgiveness simply for thinking.
Remember the guy in Monty Python… “Help, help, I’m being repressed!” That’s the kind of person I’m talking about. I think the quote from the website condolences is what made me think of this. It’s near impossible to say anything to these people, because they’ve primed themselves to be persecuted by redefining “persecution” to mean “disagreement.”
Yes, we should love without agendas, but, love can mean gently telling a person that he is wrong, too. Then, if he is hurt, I may need to apologize for the way I’ve put it. But, if I have an honest, close relationship with this person, I ought to be able to tell my friend that he is wrong on some aspect.
I guess I don’t want to be made to feel like I’m a bad person for simply thinking an idea held by many people is wrong.
What I love about Australians is that they don’t claim to be anything there not. The leader of our nation doesn’t claim to be “born again”, our TV isn’t full of super spiritualised crap with the purpose only in trying to make the rich televangilist richer.
Only 20% of Australians claim christianity, us pentecostals are the only ones who attend though. What I dont understand though is that such a large majority of Americans claim Christianity, and can easily be entertained in church service once a week, but it doesn’t look REAL. All your celebrities will remember to thank God in the acceptance speach out of some kind of ritual.
American Christianity, seems more like a entertianing, ritualisitc (I dont think thats a word), religion. Religion meaning, whats left after the relationship is diminished.
Oh and by the way, for robin…
It was Brennan Manning. Excellent author. dc Talk used a soundbite from him.
“The greatest single cause of atheism in the world is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door, and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”
we’re to love at all people at all times. period. end of story.
I don’t think Clark Adams ever interpreted “passive disagreement” as a personal attack (in response to “Jordan Like the River” above).
Anne, I appreciate your thoughtful commentary on Clark’s death. It’s a nice contrast to the type of response I expected, which is exemplified by Patrick Trotter:
“This is what happens when someone has no hope or faith. Nothing to Believe in…Nothing or No one to turn to. It’s a shame that a life this young was wasted. It’s also a shame that he spent his whole life, dedicated to waging war against God.
I hope he found peace and salvation before he went…..but with his resume, I doubt it.”
Patrick, who never met Clark, apparently feels confident in attributing his death to a lack of support, and asserting that Clark’s life was “wasted.” Clark’s life was not wasted–he lived a productive, happy, and full life, though I am saddened that he chose to end it at such a young age.
jim, thank you for your comment…although a lot of christians might disagree with my thoughts on the topic, i do think clark’s death was tragic and i know i attempt to lead a life respectful of anyone who doesn’t share the same beliefs I do.
i feel awful for any contribution those who are supposed to live a life of love might have had in his depression and death…
Anne,
You are so right about the stigma. I work in prison with many people who are stigmatized with the word “felon” or “drug addict”. It is a black-mark on their lives that will never be removed. My work is to help them get over that and move on.
In order to do that, I must be willing to overlook that black mark myself. When I hear a man tell me that he committed 28 armed robberies in 32 days and was one of DFW’s Most Wanted, I wonder why I’m even working with him. Then he tells me about the events in his life before the robberies. And he tells me about his newfound faith. No, I don’t believe this man needs to be on the streets any time soon, but I do believe every soul is worth loving – regardless of that soul’s past.
Clark Adams is no different. He may have been one of Christianity’s most vocal critics, but so was Saul of Tarsus.