I can never think of a time when i have prayed for sorrow. Invited true brokenness into my life. Usually, it comes as an unwelcomed guest. However, during my devotional time last week, I was thinking about the life of Joseph. I read this:
God never uses anybody to a large degree, until after He breaks that one all to pieces. Joseph had more sorrow than all the other sons of Jacob, and it led him out into a ministry of bread for all nations. For this reason, the Holy Spirit said of him, “Joseph is a fruitful bough?by a well, whose branches run over the wall” (Gen. 49:22). It takes sorrow to widen the soul.
My prayer that night was one I would never have expected to pray. I’ve prayed to be broken before, but never to the point of sorrow. Praying for sorrow?
When most people think of sorrow, they think of grief. Dispair. Negativity. Sadness. But the sorrow we should pray for is sorrow without despair.
If we had never fallen, or were in a glorified state, then the strong torrents of Divine joy would be the normal force to open up all our souls’ capacities; but in a fallen world, sorrow, with despair taken out of it, is the chosen power to reveal ourselves to ourselves. Hence it is sorrow that makes us think deeply, long, and soberly.
Ecclesiastes 7:3 says:
Sorrow is better than laughter,
for sadness has a refining influence on us.
But what about joy? I think the more refined we are through sorrow, the greater the joy we are able to experience.
What do you think?
I can remember about a year and half ago sitting in a group of three (Laura, Aarron and I) in our Church’s college group in the back on the floor and feeling completely disconnected from God. In complete denial of how my sin (not to imply any of this has to do with you) could be effecting this disconnect. I asked the group to pray for me as I am willing to allow God to do whatever He needs to to break the disconnect that I was feeling. That next day, probably about 15 hours later, an inappropriate intenet conversation, that I was having from my work pc to another women’s work pc appeared on my home computer monitor which my wife was viewing. My Sexual Addiction soon become known, and my sin then slowly became exposed over the course of the next 6 months. From that day God has revealed that brokeness was the only was to restoration. And damn I have felt it. It has hurt. I know there were times when sorrow was only my self pity and nothing given from God, but I do know that most of the pain of the restoration has been that from God. That night in the college group, I didn’t honestly know what I was praying for or if God would even do anything, but brokeness definetly brought sorrow, and through it all it has definetly refined. Not to imply that I have arrived, but I do think I have got to a point where the journey can continue.
I think you’ll probably get kicked off Joel Osteen’s Christmas card list with posts like this…
We just talked about this at our cell group the other night. About how pain is such a valuable tool, and how the LORD has used sorrow, pain, and loss to shape us into better people.
That’s the piece I just don’t get in the Osteen / prosperity / God says you will always have happy flowers life.
I read about some kids with a rare disability awhile back… then can’t process pain. Their life is hell. Think about all the things you learn phyiscally thru pain – don’t touch that; it’s hot… needles are sharp… so are knives… etc.
Seems like there’s a spiritual parallel…
i think our understanding of the balance between sorrow/joy is limited at best, because of the barrage of information thrown our way re: happiness. from the time we are able to process information, we begin to pursue happiness and/or personal ‘fulfillment.’
i’m not saying there shouldn’t be some element of that in our life — we have God-given passions and abilities that He intends us to put to good use. that isn’t the same as trying to live our lives to completely avoid pain and pursue ‘happiness.’ when we do that, we are not only missing the point, we will also find ourselves ill equipped to handle when the inevitable pain/sorrows of life show up on our doorstep.
i have never known a deeper sorrow than the year we watched our son lose his earthly life to cancer. did the brokenness from that experience bring us ‘joy’? not in the sense that most people would frame it.
however, the joy we’ve experienced because of that event takes its form in a renewed sense of wonder — of contentment in understanding our current reality within the framework of an eternal perspective.
i wouldn’t wish that depth of sorrow on anyone, yet i must admit God has used it to change my perspective forever ….
Krisk – wow… I am sorry for your loss… can’t imagine.
Your second paragraph up there nails my whole issue with the prosperity thing… it ignores the inevitability of pain and sorrow in our earthly existence. AND discounts the ability of that pain and sorrow to help deeper our understanding of GOD’s, well, GOD-ness.
Not the most theological term, I guess…
Another great passage to add to those you listed is 2 Cor. 7:9-10…
“…yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”
I think all of us would like to live a life without regret, and this passage communicates the role that a “godly sorrow” plays in that.
Sara Groves’ song “Less Like Scars” http://www.saragroves.com/store.asp was instrumental in my understanding of God’s transformation of pain to joy. The last line of the chorus says “and in your hands the pain and hurt seem less like scars and more like character”. Anne, I like your statement of “sorrow without despair”. I would be more brave in allowing sorrow if I could think of it without despair. Hmm.
I have oftened pondered this.
There is a sorrow that co-exists with joy.
Christians are most criticized by walking around as relilgious hipocrites, and by their sad faces and judgemental attitudes.
Most of these things would be taken care of by brokenness.
Brokenness in this sense, is the same as meekness, humility. Being wounded by the things that wound the heart of God. There are times I think we can feel the pain of his heart, and just grieve with him.
Yet, we can’t “carry” the grief of the world, and he can. So, he takes it, and trades us his joy. Joy that perseveres, overcomes, and presses through. Joy that can be “light” in a dark world.
I think we can pray for brokenness…the the Lord will keep us humble. I’ve had to pray that the Lord will ignore my whining about it and that he will please overlook it when I don’t recognize what He’s doing and I start blaming him, or accusing him of being mean.
Joseph. Yup, broken. Why? He was a know it all, “casting his pearls before swine” so to speak. He was too excited about his “spiritual experiences” for everyone’s good.
Moses: Broken. Why? He took matters into his own hands, his own timing, was too emotional and not obedient.
His sense of “justice” got ahead of God’s timing.
Miriam: Broken. Why? She thought too highly of herself and not highly enough of those in leadership around her.
Saul: Borken. Why?
I think we can learn a lot from the brokenness of others so that, perhaps, we don’t have to go through it all…not sure we could handle it.
Somehow…the two co-exist. I think it’s what sanctification is…a series of brokenness..and victories, both keeping us joyful and sorrowful all at the same time. Sort of the…”You wouldn’t see the rainbow except for the rain” sort of thing.
I think Joel Olsteen has a point. We learn to live out of our victories, not out of our broken-ness. Joseph remembered where he came from, but he named his sons: Ephraim and Manessah (meaning, God has caused me to forget my pain, and the second, God has made me fruitful in the place of my pain). Joseph learned to live in victory. As, I think did the others. Less self promoting, self reliant, self absorbed.
Then, focused on God’s mission for their lives, and knowing if they ever got out of line…he can certainly get them back in line. And that’s just they way they all wanted it, I think.
Such a good post and great thoughts to remember and mull.
Thanks.
Great post. Oddly enough, I was feeling sorrowful today, and without despair. I miss my Mom a lot. We lost her last April to cancer.
I know I was supposed to read this today. And I’m thankful.
Wayne?s last blog ..The Haiti Earthquake Disaster
After I read this I couldn’t help but think, “be careful what you ask for.” I will be praying God doesn’t take you literally:)
But sorrow does have it’s own refining quality to be sure and when you meet those who have been shaped by it, not broken, you will know it.
But wondering, have you ever read the book, Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard? I guess I ask because that was a book I came across during a very difficult/trying time in my own life and was surprised that “Sorrow” was given such a big part. Funny, (or not) the things God chooses to mold us with.