i need your help quick!? we are thinking of a few sayings to make fun of (in a good way) about big churches.? for example, “we promise you won’t lose your kids” – etc, to help show that humongo churches really aren’t that bad.? any funny things you can think of would be awesome!? think – parking, large campuses, masses of children, loud music…thanks!
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or, you could advertise your “cheap parking” or “the bigger the church, the bigger the blessing”, or “we’re just like all of those small churches…we just do church better”
when i went to FBC Springdale, AR, we used to try to remember where we parked our car…we thought that they should do the parking lots like Disneyworld. “Did we park in Ronnie 5 or Buster 17?” (The pastor and worship guy at FBC Springdale)
OR you could say something about the parking tram…
kids riding rollercoasters to their classrooms…
compliementary ear plugs at the door…
that’s all i’ve got for ya…
1.) Don’t worry we got so many people, sinners can easily hide in the balcony
2.) We have cool LCD Screens.
3.) Something for everyone
4.) Our singles ministry is huge. Married in two years guaranteed.
5.) If speaking in tongues offends you, you can sit in the back and you won’t hear it.
There’s an episode of ‘King of the Hill’ that gives a few good pokes at the mega church. Here’s a link to watch it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtI2pa2m5cg
however many square feet and we’re still not big enough to get all of Him in.
My church is so big it has it’s own solar system.
My church is so big, you can land a 747 on it.
My church is so big, it makes Super Wa-Mart look like a seven/eleven.
My church is so big, it has it’s own zip code.
My church is so big, we could host the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade and the Rose Bowl parade at the same time.
My church is so big, the sign on the highway says “My church next six exits.”
My church is so big, pictures of it can only be taken from outerspace.
My church is so big, you need two watches because it has two time zones.
Okay. So I re-wrote some yo’ momma’s so fat jokes. It’s late and my brains not workin’ so good. You cal it plagarism. I cal it research.
My church is so big, I drove around it and ran out of gas.
Be nice to each other in the parking lot
Don’t forget your kids
We want to ask our regular attenders if you could move to the 5pm service to make room at our “prime time” services for new guests…
Hello to those joining us from the commons
“This is my Bible…” oh wait…
Bryonm…we’d be hard pressed to top those!
What’s a big church?
Crystal… “This is my Bible… oh wait…” LOL.
we have to be big enough to fit your butt…no, that’s mean
of course we’re huge, this many egos can’t fit in a small church
we bought your small church….sorry, you have to go here now
you used to go across the street, but we needed their parking
pick a sin, we won’t talk about that either
the Angels game will be reshceduled, Greg Laurie needed to have a church meeting
you think the church is big? wait until you see what we call “small groups”.
I’m a little punchy this morning…..this was right up my alley
“See…We do have something in common with the Vatican!”
Our church is not that big. You can walk from the back down to the pulpit in 3 days.