i’ve made myself sick to my stomach again. a more mentally-induced nausea than anything organic (although, i’m sure the huge antibiotics i’ve been on for a week don’t help much). the only virus in me is the one i choose to think of, dwell on, and allow to trample across the garden of my daydreaminess.
borderline obsessive since my prepubescent days, occasionally one of the million thoughts which fly through my mind on any given day will stick like an unsuspecting bug in the web of a hungry spider. there it remains until it is set free by a samaritan-minded passerby (with a propensity for insect life) or until it’s eaten alive by its eight-legged captor.
throughout history, mankind has attempted to train the mind, capture thoughts, to which success and progress follow. maybe i’m a bit unconventional, but in some way i enjoy twisting and turning in the threads until the last possible moment of escape. not in a gluttonous way, but to appreciate the struggle. to feel suffocated that much longer.
whom the sons sets free, he is free indeed.
be free!
Do I like it? Not one little bit.
Cleansing rain washes away the cobwebs, worship music is my rain… and I love dancing in the heavenly flood. I hear/feel Jesus whisper to me, come dance with me on the mountaintops, Our God reigns.
Oh my, how I can relate. I have an Obsessive Compulisve personality (not disorder, the 13 therapist I work for say there is a difference :-) I have scripture I must qote to myself (2 Cor. 10:3-5, James 4:7&8) when I start obsessing and it does help. God is good, He will help, even when all I can muster is the smallest, faint little “help” He does help.
Sometimes I think I am the spider
We all get tangled and mangled in the cobwebs of our mind. How we do it comes differently for all of us. I am a supressed OCP, (I like that it is a personality not a disorder)so I can definately relate. My symptoms are random, pointless panic attacks that normally come at night, when I REALLY want to be asleep. This happens maybe six times a year but when it happens I hate it.
Sorry you are going through one of your times – glad you are still posting – hoping things get better.
~ Mattchews
it’s not bad at all…i actually enjoy it a little ;)