Thank you for my confusion…

It’s pulling me into You…begging me to listen to the cries of Your heart for Your people. Thank you for not letting me see the end.

Please break my heart into a

million…

…zillion

pieces so I can accept Your will

…with joy.

With gladness.

With understanding.

With couraage.

With love.

Please guide me to say the things I should say and keep quiet the things you’ve entrusted into my soul. Break my pride and fill me with humility and willingness.

…Eagerness.

These words are so easy to write, but the weight of my heart can’t be pulled into my thoughts by just my pen and good intention. It needs You to pull it, oh God, into your heart.

I am hopeless…wandering…without your touch.

i dont have a problem
(you’re horribly mistaken)
i’m just flustered by
this unavoidable circumstance
and i dont have an answer
(that’s my own dark little secret)
i’m quite happy now
cause i’ll get another chance

you cant make me feel
what i’m already feeling
and you cant sway my mind
over your way (it’s already there)
it’s like the blind leading the blind
through a tunnel of shadows and demons
and the only way out
is the long way

you can look me dead on
(and you can say without blinking)
that you know the way things are
and you know the way things have always been
and you know quite well
(all the things that you are feeling)
am i dreaming your denial
or has reality set in?

-aj